Friday, July 16, 2004
THIS IS JUST THE CUTEST:
I was feeling a little strange by the time I left the room, but I brushed it off as I made it back to my English class. Jere was sitting there, quietly writing in one of his many notebooks (I swear he has one for each of his moods). I came up behind him, brushing against him lightly, before I sat down in the desk behind him. I pulled out my book before leaning forward, across the desk, motioning him close to me so I could talk to him without getting yelled at, again. He closed his notebook before turning around, making it look like we were discussing some English thing.
"So Jere," I began, "you've been talking about me?"
"What?" he asked, looking a little incredulous. "Who says I've been talking about you?"
"Oh, just a charming girl by the name of Julia Rangel." I smirked at him, and he just covered his face with his hands, obviously embarrassed. "Jere, does this mean you have been talking about us? About our relationship?"
"No, no, I swear." He peaked at me through the cracks in his fingers, and I gave him a look like I really didn't believe him. He dropped his hands from his face, and gave me an honest look. "Ok, maybe just a little, and just to my cousin. But I can't help it. I'm so transparent, she sees right through me, I talked about you once and she knew what was up. She's getting her fucking masters degree or something in adolescent psychology and she likes to ask me questions."
"So she knows about us. Do other people know about us?"
"She does know I'm gay, blame it on my sister, she let it slip one time to Julia. But just her. I just talk about what a great friend you are to me, and about how you really listen to me, or how you treat me like I'm intelligent and interesting," Jere rationalized, raising his voice slightly, but lowering it again once he realized we were still in the classroom surrounded by tons of people. Lowering his voice further, he said something that almost made me heart stop. "I don't tell her how I think you're an amazing kisser, or about that spot on my neck that makes me so hot when you bite it, or how whenever I'm with you all I want to do is touch you in inappropriate places, and I certainly didn't tell her about that amazing thing you did to me last week, that thing with your tongue and lip ring." And he does this to me every time. Gets me so angry and then drops these innuendos like most people drop names.
And he made it all worse by turning around in his seat and going back to his notebook.
"Jere," I pleaded, leaning my head on his shoulder, right next to his ear, "it's not that I mind you singing my praises, it's just that I'm not ready to, you know, be out. I'm still wrapping my head around the idea of being gay, and while I really love being with you, I have to be sure before I put myself on the line."
"I understand, Matt, I really do, but it's hard for me to not talk about what an amazing person you are. So if I slip up every now and then, just forgive me. Ok?"
"I'm sorry Jere," I said bringing my face back, brushing my lips against his ear. He let out the least visible shiver, before going rigid and looking around the room to make sure no one saw. Looks like he's not quite ready either.
FUCK ALL OF YOU HOMOPHOBIC FUCKS. Haha. Sorry. <3
Envy drowned in words at 16:31
[- 0 wrecked words -]
