Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Brunei time: 4:56am. 23rd September 2004.
THANK YOU GOD!!!! I feel kinda better now...feel more like at home cuz i'm listening to Konstantine and i'm in my room with a computer and it's DARK. :) Yay (and the song is supposed to be sad...this is the first time EVER that i am actually happy listening to this song) Hehehe. My sister did some shit with the internet and connected it to the her pc in our room. Though i am not exactly using Trevor...i'm still happy cuz i pop on the CD that i burned about two days before i left Brunei into the CD-rom (it's very smart of you to burn it, envy :)) and now, it's all a little familiar except for this goddamn ugly Brasil/Nike bigass poster that covers one wall in front of me. I still can't post up pics though. Damn, i need my Trevor. This is pathetic, missing something that is just laying around behind me in a bag. Lol. I'll use it tomorrow hopefully.
It's not hard to dream, you'll always be my Konstantine. They'll never hurt you like I do. :) Hehehe, i've never been so happy listening to this song.
Anyway...so, yesterday, in my class trip, i went to St. Fagan's or this open air museum called 'The National Museum of Welsh Life', it was really rad. I went to explore with Daisy, Gigi, Amanda and other few chinese people (i was the only malay girl lol and they all went *widen eyes* when i told them i was from brunei), i got some of it on tape and the dumbass part of me forgot to charge my batt so i was saving up batt and shit ahaha. Anyway...we went inside a castle, it was cool though i couldn't tape shit there cuz they forbid it. HEHEHEHEHEHE, i'm listening to Hoobastank's Unaffected, I MISS THIS! Doing particular nothing, listening to songs and being online.
Before they even saw my face, they knew that i was not the same and decided that i was not the one for you. Hello Doug's voice! :D
I miss listening to MxPx's Everything Sucks, i'll find it later...i know i burned it somewhere. YAGASJKFWQEYGRQWW FALL OUT BOY! Hehehe, i'm listening to 'Chicago Is So Two Years Ago'..HEHEHEHEHE i miss this. (WARNING: WITHIN THIS POST, I WILL BURST OUT LAUGHING/GIGGLING AND TELLING YOU WHAT SONG I AM LISTENING TO AND WRITING THE LYRICS DOWN RANDOMLY.)
She took me down and said 'Boys like you are overrated so save your breath". Patpatpatpatpat....you r0c. :D You want apologies, girl you might hold your breath until your breathing stops forever, forever. The only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips, i hope they taste of me forever and there's a light on in Chicago and i know i should be home and all the colours of the street signs, they remind me of your pick-up truck at in front of you neighbours....with every breath i wish your body would be broken again, again. HEHEHEHEHE, somehow this song reminds me of KB. WHEE~~~~ I miss KB.
My student card picture is ugly, we had to take the picture on the webcam at school and i was a bit far to the left of the picture so it looks like i'm actually sitting on the seat next to the seat where our picture was taken and randomly 'asi2-ing' to be in the picture...okay,. fuck you if you don't get it. HUAHAUHAUHAUAHAU I JUST LISTENED TO ADAM TBS SINGING BONUS MOSH PART II!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. now i'm listening to SoCo's You're Gone and it's getting me all emo...it still hurts listening to this song.
Taking steps back through the words i should've said to you, they all got lost, you went away. Well, i feel sick and you just don't care anymore. ...That line hurts a lot *cries* And you don't care, your face is on the billboard and you're everywhere. You don't care much for interviews, you're gone, you're gone, you're gone, you're gone, you're gone, you're gone, you're gone, you're gone away. If you don't like being hurt then please don't stay. Goddamnit, NOW I'M BEING EMO HUAHUAHAA. It's hard to wave goodbye from aeroplanes when i just don't think that you can see, i taper off and say 'It's never worth the pain' but sometimes it is. Gotta wish that i could make this right. I wish that there was something worth the time for her to give to me. A phonecall from L.A's my present, there's nothing left for me to give. I wish i could and i know that i should but you know, i know, i won't. *cries* OKAY PPL...now you know where most of the sentences on the very top of my blog come from! HUAHAUHAUHAUAHAU.
Okay...ehehhe yeah...back to my student card, it's also a kind of swipe card right...and my school building needs that swipe card to open the door and i thought that was pretty rad except whenever i need to open the door to my school building, i have to look at that stupid picture of mine. Seriously, i look funny....all the people i showed it to, laughed. And this is what's cool...Erwan's room is right across my class! I could see his window! HEHEHEHE. So...whenever i have a test...he could like give me the answer in cardboards (like my teacher couldn't see that...HAUHAHAUHA).
I went to the cinema yesterday and watched 'Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy', that movie is funny though Christina Applegate looks kinda old there. Paul Rudd looks cute. I'M LISTENING HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS!!!! YEEHAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW!!!! JEJJEIOAEWFAVNAURHWUAWHW...
Spare me just three last words, 'i love you' is all she heard. I'll wait for you but i can't wait forever. HEHEHE And i can't make it on my own because my heart is in Ohio, so cut my wrists and black my eyes so i can fall asleep tonight and die(i like that phrase btw) Because you killed me, you know you do, you kill me well. You like it, too and i can tell you'll never stop until my final breath is gone. I don't know how these guys look like but whatever...i like the singer's low singing tone.
Okay, yeah...the cinema..lol. We were buying tickets and my sister had something missing for her movie card so she wanted to see the guy in charge of that but the guy in the counter went all "sorry...he's busy right now because we're understaffed nowadays and he has to do all these things...(blablablabla) why don't you do it after the movie?" UNDERSTAFFED!!!!! That's awesome news...i wanted to ask about that but i don't know...my self confidence was low then so i'll ask next time i go there. I saw an ad in my campus main building shop for part time workers and i asked the girl that was working there about that and they needed someone who could work on mon-fridays from 12pm to 2pm...AND I'VE CLASSES AT THOSE TIMES! UIAWRKBJAEUASDWA :( I wanna work.
I kiss your neck, i feel you breathing on my shoulder. Still I'm peerfect, it must be you cuz now it's over. I was so close, that was the most that i have ever been through. Now, old cassettes and cigarettes would be the ones to save you. How can you ask for me to stay when all you ever do is go....just go. And so i fall, i don't wanna feel this small. You know i just can't handle this, handle this at all. And so i fall, i let my heartbeat drop. I falter as the music stops and you watch me as i stall and wonder when i fall. HEHEHEEHEHHEHE ANDREWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, You emo boy. I'M LISTENING TO SOCO'S FALL HEUAHFUHFEEHHEHEHEHEHOEAHEOUHEHEHEHE.
Sugarcult's gonna be in UK next month, i think. And i think the show in london is sold out. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo I check shit here
This may never start, we could fall apart and i'd be your memory. :) I'm listening to Memory by them now. I don't know the singer's name...i tihnk it's something weird like.. Aidan or sth.
The Wedding Singer was on just now...and at the part where Adam Sandler was singing the song to Drew Barrymore in the plane, i was smiling cuz it really reminds me of Azam. Hahaha cuz i remember him making me listen to that song from his phone at the airport. KAHFUQOEWHFWAUGCBZSMCWY MATCHBOOK ROMANCE'S STAY TONIGHT IS ON! HAHAUHAUHUAHUAHAU
49 hours and 46 minutes to go, nobody's counting, i just thought i'd let you know i fill my head with your voice and now, i'm drowning when i wrote this song for you. HEEHEHEHHEHEHE Many good nights listening to this song and feeling inspired to write lyrics. I threw them all cuz it made me cry during the 2 weeks i was gonna leave cuz the lyrics i wrote were all about being happy with someone i know i can't have. Hehe. I'm cool cuz sappy + me = BAD BAD BAD OUTCOME.
WUHEUFWEJNCSAYFENFEIWRK Pat's singing!!!!!!!!! Homesick at spacecamp! FOB! HEHEHEHEHE tonight the headphones would deliver you the words i can't say. <----i think that one's pretty cool. I really like that phrase.
Oh yeah...Em's been reading slash? WHHHATT?? Hahaha good girl. Imma go visit places tomorrow! HEHEHEHE School trip. I still feel dizzy...hhuahuahaua....the bus i caught to school had only the sideways seat available so mauk ku brabis d bus...this guy who sat on my front left realized i look like i had to puke and went all "you alright?", and that was about 6 and a half hours ago...i can't believe i still feel sick.
Hey lush, have fun, it's the weekend. And i don't think that you know what you've been missing. Forget me, it's that simple. TBS! HEHEEHEHEHEH. Your own disaster.
Erwan was supposed to go watch Ron Burgundy with us but on the way there, after eating in Chicken Cottage (this halal fastfood), he told us Seqy said there was a soccer tryout back at campus and the both of us kinda forced him to go. UITHEIWAGDAIYWEWAUE EMERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HAHAHAHAHAHA.
I will wait for you forever if you would just ask me. I thought that i could change you but you changed me. It doesn't feel right holding someone else's hand, together on phone lines and living at two opposite ends. It scares me to think that you could find takers, other than me and better than me but your head is elsewhere and i'm talking enough for both of us....when will you see it's not easy for me? Your careless and whisper, insulting and bruising...and i thought that you said 'things were improving'. These laces are untied but my feet are still walking away. I never thought that you could say these words, is this really happening? Don't say that we could still be friends. I really like the guy's voice here. HEHE. It's called the Ponytail Parade btw. How can you take all these days and throw them away as i sit here waiting for you.
Ohmigod....Tiger Lily. And if i could only stop the car and hold on to you, i'll never let go. Goddamn, this song is so sad and i hate that it reminds me of the person i want to forget. (ignore this paragraph, thanks)
Yeah...back to Erwan. lol. He went back to his dorm and then changed and went with Seqy, Amran, Avi and Raul (i think) and then when they were there....all the guys were big and built and Amran was all "What the fuck is this? Look at those guys and look at HOW FUCKING SMALL WE ARE?!" then the coach came and it turned out that Seqy got the info wrong and those guys were actually UWIC's soccer team. HEHEHE. Seqy is funny. lol. They went to McD's this morning and all of them were sakai cuz the sink was different...lol, all they have to do is put their hands on the sick and the liquid soap came out and then after that, water came and then hot air came to dry their hands. That was the reason why they all went back and forth to the bathroom, psychos. lol.
WAHEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! MBR'S PROMISE! Lol. Now, i'm listening to Rise Against's Swing Life Away. We live on front porches and swing life away. We get by just fine here on minimum wage. If love is a labour, i'd slave till the end. I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand.
I want to buy CDs but i need to put that on hold first cuz i've lotsa stuff to buy...like BED COVERS and CEREAL! lol. I've been busy with school induction programme and shit...it always ends around 4 and the shops here close at 5pm so i haven't the chance to shop for shit. Wifey, I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN TO STARBUCKS YET!!!!!! Since Anna said UK is like pro-emo...i should be able to get the CDs here easily.
I'm finally saw got to see the Student Union bar! Hehehe...Erwan and I walked there cuz there was a poster sale or sth...I SAW NOFX POSTER!! :o I didn't really get to see all of it cuz when we got there, they were putting it on boxes to put away already booohooo. I saw the squash court, this guy left his Vans shoes like Roy's while he played squash. HEHE. Then....er...what else..oh yeah, we wanted to check out the pool but it was chain locked, i could only smell the pool air. lol. We checked out the basketball court, not bad at all. My school building is small! compare to all of the other buildings....my part of the school is building is only one floored. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAFJNEAFEUANJSDCVWEFAWRWEWA SOCO'S WALKING BY! :(
What did i do that you can't seem to want me and why do we lie here and whisper goodbyes? Where can i go where your pictures won't haunt me? Wifey had this song on her blog! *cries*
Hahaha shit...it's 00:12 now. Lol. I've been sitting here that long and only have been writing here, no other surfing! HAUHAUHA MICHEAL BUBLE'S MOONDANCE! Ina, DONT LAUGH! Lol. This song reminds me so much of Leech cuz i remember him singing this song. lol.
Can i just have one more moondance with you, my love? Can i just make some more romance with you, my love? Well, i wanna make love to you tonight, i can't wait till the morning has come and i know that the time is just right and straight into my arms you will run. Hehehe sappy i know. Shut up. Lol.
I saw the tape on the airport and thanks to all who talked there...:) I appreciate it, i was in bed while watching it with Will & Grace on the other tv. Lol. I gotta take a pic of this room. Anyway, really, thanks everyone and CJ for singing and shit lol.
It's funny how some apologies just doesn't seem sincere.
I miss home, my family and my friends. Lol. I miss sleeping in my bed and i miss talking for long hours with my friends on the phone and i miss texting Haz to ask him if he wanted to go somewhere and i miss all those KB trips and i miss watching cheap/free movies in Empire and i miss doing nothing at all at the Mall and i miss giggling over stupid shit ppl do. Thanks again for the gifts, cards, emails, text messages, hugs and everything and Thank you for making me realize you weren't worth it. :) I can't believe i've only been gone for a week, it feels so long already. Lol. *emo*
ANYWAY....All those songs up there, i recommend you ppl to d/l it, the CD just hit back to Konstantine, the first song in the CD hehehe.
I can fucking talk alright. Huhahaha. I'll end this note happily, tomorrow imma go visit an art gallery! Yay! I bought WIfey a postcard, i haven't written anything in it though. Lol. <3
Envy drowned in words at 21:56
[- 0 wrecked words -]
