Friday, February 25, 2005
I think this is just one of those random 'posts' where the next sentence might not mix with the one before and please i am going to freaking gag if i hear/read someone say/write 'emocore' one more time today. I blame it on human nature or just pure selfishness but i can't help wishing there was more to life. I'm not sure if i am happy or sad or anything, i guess i'm just going with the flow? I'm not even quite sure. I am coming to terms that some people would always be better than me but this hasn't stopped me from wishing them into the worst situations (yeap, fob ripoff). I don't think i'm ever going to hook up with anyone (who isn't drunk/stoned/high on anything) because when sober, i guess i'm just one of those people that you just want to be friends with cuz we've got the personality but not the physical beauty. Sometimes i wish i was taller, thinner, prettier, smarter, more brave but yeah, most days i'm just glad that i'm alive. I envy people who said they had found themselves because i haven't and i don't think i ever will. I'm choosy with guys, i see all these pretty boys and drool over them but then when i see the slightest hint that they were checking out their hair anywhere reflective, i get instantly turned off. Boys like Trevor, i'd kill to date them or just touch them or something, but it's like when i see their pics sometimes, all i could think about is how much freaking money they'd wasted for their hair, clothes, body and face and it just turns me off that bad and i don't know why, i like guys who look good but i don't want them to put too much effort on it. I don't know what i'm trying to explain here, basically i just want a guy who is just presentable. Or whatever. As long as he's funny/geeky, then we're good. I want to be that in love but not that blind. I'm content with us just being friends, you're funny, i laugh a lot, we go together as pals good i think. But just don't crash your car the next time you pretend that you're invisible okay? You dork. Sometimes, people just won't thinking "what if...".
Envy drowned in words at 03:59
[- 0 wrecked words -]
