.i'm letting go of all my downer thoughts.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

the words are scribed on every page and now there's books up on our shelves.

I remember what i want to talk about. ~~Remember a time when i was so obsessed with Quinn?~~. Screw that, i am still obsessed with Quinn and i get all defensive and pissed off when i see all these fucking girls with Quinn's picture and title them as "Mine", "Sex" and shit like that on their myspace/friendster profiles and websites/blogs. I get jealous, i swear. I alwats have this stupid selfish thought; "I saw him first." when i see those and it's true! GHGEWIUGAHEFAO (still couldn't let go). I was like in love with him when i was freaking fifteen for fuck's sake and that was three years ago so fuck you. HELLO, I SOUND LAME AND OBSESSED. HAHAHAUHEFAEIUFHAEIUFAEHGNEAGAE.

My level of obsession with Quinn varies with time and since like...last November or something until 2 days ago, it was low. But now it's back up to full blast because of a picture (of which i would post at the end of this post) and about this quinn lookalike. I want to talk about this lookalike i saw in two gigs who look exactly like Quinn. Seriously. I hope to God he doesn't read this blog (like he could find it. bwahwahaw). So here goes. The first time I saw him was at the Fall Out Boy gig in Swansea's Escape Club on the 25th of February. I was outside, q-ing to get in and my sister nudged me and said "Hey, Is that Quinn?", i think my head almost snapped from turning around too fast. Fucking hell, he did look a lot like Quinn. He was walking with a girl, probably his girlfriend. I had to double check to make sure it wasn't him. Now that i think back, i can't really compare the difference cuz his features are all so Quinn. He had that tousled bleached (or real blond) hair with a straightened moppy bangs and messy (possibly and most probably waxed), stickingoutinalldirections hair at back. He was also tall (like i imagined and approximated Quinn was when i saw him during the show) and skinny that he had to stand in this slouching position. Fucking hell, hawt. Then he looked like he knew he looked like Quinn (it's as annoying as when a guy knows he's hot and expects people to bow down to him) and that just annoyed me so i didn't bother looking at him anymore.

Then during the Silverstein (HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHE I SAW SILVERSTEIN EHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH AND VIDEOTAPED THEM, FUCK YES) gig last Tuesday (that's 10th May if you dont know), quinn-lookalike was there! I gawked again hehehe, then i kinda just stared cuz it was cute, he was with his friends and they just looked like they didn't know where to hang out. Then he stood near me when Silverstein first played and i looked up at him, he stood just the way Quinn does. I almost wanted to go up to him and told him i'd pay him like 15 pounds if he'd just pretend that he's Quinn and we'd make out so i could tell everyone that i made out with Quinn. I seriously wanted to take a picture of him but my fucking Connor makes a sound when he take pictures. Although i brought a camera, i dont exactly want the fucking thing flashing right in front of his face right. Then when i went up front to videotape Silverstein, i looked back and saw his face and fuck, i almost dropped my videocamera cuz he just looked THAT much like Quinn. FUEHGIUHGWEOUFAWH when the gig finished, he wasn't anywhere in sight so that sucked.

The next day, when i was at uni, surfing the net, i checked my gmail and there was an email from Wifey. And and and and in it was attached Quinn's NAKED picture. Okay well, not really naked, like torso naked (i think he still had his socks on). I still have the window of the picture open since 1130pm (it's now 3:05am). I let out a little squeal. For real. My eyes were watery from biting my lips too hard. I think i had a fucking orgasm. HAHAHA. That was when the obsesion level ranked full up. FUCKING HELLLLLLLL. FUWHGWEUGHWEGUIWEHGWE.

Oh and I actually had the ~~chance~~chances to meet Quinn. I almost hit myself again today when i think about TWO FUCKING CHANCES i let pass. I joined the Used Nation (i know. freak.) and it gave me a pass that told me that i could get in backstage right (i showed a picture of this in an entry a couple of months back). I brought the pass to the London AND the Cardiff shows but i didn't show it to anyone since nobody looked like they were using it right. Then a few weeks ago, i was out with my sister. I had on The Used hoodie right and i was at this stationary store, buying pens then when i was about to pay, the cashier smiled and asked me if i went to see them. I was confused at first then i looked at my hoodie and said yeah i did and blablabla i told her that i went to two shows hehehe. Then, she was awesome and nice and stuff AND THEN, she told me she met Bert and i said how and she said she used the fucking PASS, i almost passed out with regret. I COULD HAVE MET QUINN AND RAPED HIM. DAMN YOU UMIE FOR BEING SO STUPID. I remembered Azza telling me if i wanted to wait around for them and i was like "No, i've already seen them, i could die happy now". TO those people who don't live in Brunei wouldn't understand that statement, bands DO NOT come to Brunei. Half of them probably don't even know where that is for that matter. And this is the band that i first loved. This is the band that got me where i am right now musically (okay, this is just an exaggeration and isn't exactly true but i like this sentence so i'm just gonna let it stay HHEHEHE). This is the band that i repeatedly watch on TV (from VCDs i burned) and just wishing i could be in one of the crowd that was watching them. I remember just being in my room and watching them perform and saying to CJ "Shit, cua tah kita sana" when Bert was talking to the crowd. So at those times during the shows, it was more than enough to see them that close. TAPI BUDUH, PADAHAL DAPAT LAGI BEJUMPA SAMA DRG, NAPA AKU PALUI ANI KAN. FUCKING IDIOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

Oh and picture. :) I'm going to cream in my pants again.

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Envy drowned in words at 00:47

[- 1 wrecked words -]

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